I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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