I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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