Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize