Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
