I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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