Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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