so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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