super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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