I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
