hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
