I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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