No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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