I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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