You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
