i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
