This is not my ceiling
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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