What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
