I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
