hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
