I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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