Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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