STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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