I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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