you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
