she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
