the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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