I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
