Porn is love you can see.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize