hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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