I want to make a zoo with you.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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