how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
