Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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