Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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