Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
