We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
