bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize