Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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