idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
