We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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