Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize