Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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