oh god the rape fog is back!
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
