Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
