So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
