I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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