no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
