New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize