hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
