So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
