Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
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To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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