he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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