Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
