god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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