I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
