i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
