I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
