I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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