So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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