no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
