Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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