New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
