you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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