i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
