so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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