I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
