Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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